i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
