great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
either way he was missing a nipple.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
