The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
