I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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