I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
