i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
