Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
Randomize