You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
