you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
