You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize