i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
