The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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