my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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