And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Randomize
