so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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