That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
