Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My sheets look like a crime scene.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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