so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
