she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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