dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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