I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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