You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
