you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
