There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
