Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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