How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
