I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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