btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
