Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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