Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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