The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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