just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize