? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
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