you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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