I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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