Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
