you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
