If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
