My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
