hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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