they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
they need to just BURY HIM!
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
