sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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