I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
