Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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