The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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