Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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