He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
