me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
