That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
