Someone shit on the floor
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
