mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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