I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
