I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
