I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
