I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
