Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
